October 2004
ProActive Parenting’s
Peaceful Parenting E-Newsletter
A Collection of Good Stuff Written by Other People
Issue #11
What’s New?
I know I’m a bit early with this month’s newsletter, forgive me. I didn’t want the newsletter to run late. My plate is wonderfully full getting ready for the debut of the 1st Every Day Solutions seminar being held at Westridge Elementary in Lake Oswego.
Did anyone see the Dr. Phil special Wednesday evening? There were a few things on the special that I thought may be valuable to all of you. If anyone is dealing with potty training, I have the instructions for Potty Training in one day and can send them to you. I also have the 3 methods Dr. Phil outlined to increase your child’s IQ. These methods are valuable for more than just raising IQ’s. These techniques can help any child become more comfortable with testing, focusing and retention. Either email me or go to the Dr. Phil website if you want this info. See you at the seminar! SS
( This is an archived newsletter, these copies are no longer available from me, go to Dr. Phil’s website to see if they are still available there.)
PICK UP THAT MESS
From a Parents Perspective By: Janet Gonzalez-Mena
How do you get children to pick up their messes? Here are some simple guidelines. Make it easy for them to know where things go. That old saying, “a place for everything and everything in its place,” is a good rule to go by. Children develop a sense of order when they live in an
organized environment.
- Make clean up time fun. Young children can be enticed into thinking they’re playing a game rather than doing a dreaded chore. If they have that attitude young, they may grow up without knowing the difference.
- If the time should come that they don’t regard cleanup as fun, take a problem solving approach. Avoid power struggles. Discuss, negotiate, and figure out together how to restore order.
- Model orderliness by picking up after yourself. It’s amazing how well children imitate what they see you doing. Simple. Just four guidelines and your problems are over, right? Wrong!
If it’s so easy, why is it that if you came over to my house to visit me you’d be likely to find a mess?
Writing guidelines is easy; following them is the hard part. Knowing about something and doing it are two different things Where I fall down is in modeling. I’d like to finish and put away one project before I start another, but I don’t always manage. Sometimes one is a long-term project, and another calls for my immediate attentions. Since I’m tolerant of myself, what can I say to a child who is in the middle of building a huge block structure when he suddenly decides he needs to go out and ride his bike for a while? I can understand that need. I also understand that he is still working on the block structure. I let him go. Order suffers.
And I also have a problem with a place for everything. If new possessions didn’t keep arriving, or if the old ones self destructed, it wouldn’t be so hard. But organizing and reorganizing takes time, and I always have so many other, more pressing and interesting things to do than clean out closets and cupboards. I also have trouble making clean up time fun since I’m often a grouch about it myself (just as my mother, and her mother before her).
My kids can pick up a true attitude in a minute, even when I’m pretending something is a fun game. But, I don’t have trouble with problem solving, negotiating, and figuring out a solution together about how to get the place picked up when there’s a real need to. At those times there’s a real sense of urgency and the energy behind that gets me looking for the cooperation I need to make things happen.
So we do not have periods of real order at home. You can come over and find the place clean and tidy-just be sure to let me know when you’re coming.
Momilies: As My Mother Used to Say By: Michele Slung
Around the House
- How come you always offer to do dishes at other people’s houses?
- Here’s how you help: first, you take the dishes off the table.
- It’s just as easy to wash a dish well as it is to wash it badly.
- Always clean up in the kitchen as you go along.
- Close door behind you-were you born in jail?
- Never answer the phone on the first ring.
- I know if you clean up your room, it’s bound to rain.
- I don’t see any hooks on that floor.
- A drop of oil or a drop of spit works wonders.
- Leave a dead fly and others gather.
- Always put the zipper on the inside of the pillowcase so you won’t cut your face at night.
- Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite
- Wake up, snakes, and crawl! June bugs are hoping! (???)
- You have to make your bed in case the house burns.
- How can you sleep in an unmade bed?
Send in your Ah, Ha moments, stories of success or growth. I know I’m swamped and having hard time getting a longer newsletter out to all of you. What are you having a hard time doing these days? Is your hard time stealing your energy or creating impatience with the kids? Keep breathing! See you next month. SS
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