September 2004
ProActive Parenting’s
Peaceful Parenting E-Newsletter
A Collection of Good Stuff Written by Other People
Issue #10
What’s New?
Welcome back! I hope all of you had a wonderful summer. Okay, so I worked, but it was worth it! This month’s newsletter is small because I’m getting back to business, just like all of you.
My summer was happily spent preparing for the HUGE ProActive Parenting change that will be unveiled next month to the general public, and because you’re on our email list—you get the news first!
Let me explain. I’ve been getting feedback for years that states, “I love the methods, but I’m having a hard time translating them into my every day life.” That posed a significant issue that I needed to address. I spent the entire last year researching, doing a demographic study’s and deciding how to solve those concerns.
From all that work Every Day Solutions was born.
What’s different about this?
Daily life is the difference! Most of the tools I’ve presented over the years required parents to decide which tool goes with which situation. That can be problematic when emotions are running high and and you’ve just learned how to apply a new method. It can even mean that sometimes parents choose the wrong method and the tool doesn’t work, then parents give up and that is that. I wanted to try to remedy that problem, and I think I have.
The Every Day Solutions series focuses on the issues you face DAILY as the parent of a toddler or a preschooler and provides the tools needed to help SOLVE that single situation. Join us for a seminar soon and see for yourself how much easier this is to apply. AND we hope one of these days to upload them to this website so everyone can enjoy them.
That’s what’s new! It’s good to be back! Let’s get started.
First Day of School Marks a Beginning— And an Ending
From a Parents Perspective By: Janet Gonzalez-Mena
Nothing signifies beginnings and endings for me like the first day of school. At the very least summer ends and a new school year begins—or even more significantly, an old era closes and a new one commences. A memory of beginnings and endings that stands out in my mind is the day my oldest child started kindergarten. My heart was thumping with anticipation as we walked together toward the kindergarten wing through a milling crowd of adults and children.
We’d been getting ready for this day all summer and finally it arrived. We both recognized the benefits this beginning would bring—I would have newfound freedom, he would have new friends, new experiences. Of course, a touch of fear and maybe a bit of sadness haunted the occasion, but the spirit of adventure overshadowed the other feelings.
My son dropped my hand as he turned to watch the children on the monkey bars. My gaze followed his and when I turned back to look at him I found he had drifted away from me. He was headed toward the children; a shy smile lit up his face. He had just reached his destination when a buzzer sounded and the teacher stepped out from the kindergarten room, She was all smiles. Carefully pushing the door back until it caught against the wall, she then turned toward the children opening her arms, welcoming them in. I was reminded of the Pied Piper as I watched my son drawn with the other children toward the smiling face, which disappeared before them into the interior of the building. I hurried toward my son for a quick good-bye kiss. He managed to slither past me just beyond my reach. I stood with my arms out watching him disappear through the open doorway. Self consciously I folded my empty arms against myself.
Then I walked forward to try to see into the confusion inside the well lit room. I had to move out of the way of the last child who was being pushed forward by a grim-faced mother. The smiling face of the teacher reappeared. Taking the child by the hand the teacher drew her through the open doorway. Then, with a quick step outside again, she tugged sharply on the handle of the wide open door. The door, loosened from its mooring swung slowly shut making a whisperer as it scraped the sill. A thump announced that it had finally settled into place. I stared at the green metal slab that separated me and my first born. It was solid—not even a window to let me peak in.
Finally I was aware of the murmuring and movement around me as the other parents departed. I moved out with the crowd. I chattered like the rest of them, but underneath the pleasant exterior I was experiencing a tidal wave of pain. I was unprepared for that pain. It was as if the kindergarten door had snipped a nerve-laden cord that attached me to my son. With every beginning there is an ending. I tend to look at the bright side, the anticipation of something new rather than the sorrow of leaving something behind. But every now and then something—like that kindergarten door—brings me to my senses so I feel all my feelings instead of just some of them.
Beginnings and endings, mixed with joy and pain, that’s what parenthood is all about.
Momilies—As My Mother Used to Say By: Michele Slung
Relatively Speaking
No matter what happens, you’ll always have your family.
You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your relatives.
I don’t care whether you like them or not—you’re related.
Treat your friends like family and your family like friends.
Wait ‘til your brother cries for an hour before you give in.
If you can’t get along with your brother and sisters, how can you get along with the world?
I hope you enjoyed this month’s newsletter. Come out and join us for the NEW
Everyday Solutions workshops, see you in October! SS
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